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David Leonard wrote:
However, I know that if I put a lyc in my plane now she would STILL be reticent to fly with me. I love aviation, and she does not. Changing to a lyc is not going to change that for us.
David, I get the same song and dance when I ask my wife to help me build this thing. She complains that I don't spend any time with her. She wants me to sit with her in front of a TV as my brains dribble out my ears, instead. So I turn it around and start complaining that she won't spend any time with ME. Then the excuses start. It's too hot. It's noisy. It's smelly. It's boring. Now, it's too cold. She'll occasionally spend maybe 10 minutes with me, but she never complains about me not spending time with her any more.
I occasionaly hear builders talking about giving up because of family pressure. It hurts to hear, because 'the project' isn't the issue and giving it up won't change anything. The issue is that the builder is just that...a builder. They will all have to build something or be miserable. I've talked to at least a couple builder's who gave up a project to save a marriage. They eventually got divorced anyway, and one is now flying a Pietenpol he built after splitting up.
Then there is the issue that whatever they build, be it airplanes or furniture, won't look store-bought, and a lot of people will turn their nose up at it. (How did America get to this ridiculous state of affairs?) My wife complains that she doesn't like the steel tubes showing in the cockpit. She want's it to look more 'classy'. I ask her for a design drawing. Her response is, "I don't know how. It's your project." If you are so offended by a few structural elements showing through, either lend a hand, offer a solution or don't fly with me. Just don't ask me to perform a miracle before the next reality TV show airs.
My point is that as we build our airplanes and engines, we're also building relationships, and it's compromises, compromises, compromises all the way around. We've got to give some credence to the family voices, but how much is a balancing act. I do watch movies with the family fairly often, but I can't stand more than about 10min of most TV before the revulsion gets too strong; however, I won't change my project design because SHE thinks its 'ugly' or 'unsafe'. I'm already making it as beautiful, comfortable and safe as my skillset, budget and learning ability will allow. That's who I am and what I am, and if that's not good enough then why are we together in the first place. I think Dawn respects that, but I'm probably headed straight for divorce court and don't even know it.
"If you loved me, you'd spend more time with me." Practice that and see how it changes their outlook on your project.
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,|"|"|, Ernest Christley |
----===<{{(oQo)}}>===---- Dyke Delta Builder |
o| d |o www.ernest.isa-geek.org |
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