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HI PAUL,
THOUGHT YOU MIGHT FIND THIS FUNNY.
MARK
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Tuesday, June 06, 2006 8:34 AM
Subject: FW: Tower comments
Trevor H. Haywood,
SSG
USPF&O SCARNG
9 National Guard
Road
Columbia,
SC
29201
803 806
4489
DSN 583-
4489
-----Original
Message-----
From: Marge Cooley
[mailto:mbcooley@bellsouth.net]
Sent: Monday, June 05,
2006 3:57
PM
To: Jean Haywood
Subject: Fw: Tower
comments
Note: For
those that don't know, "The Sled" is the SR-71 Blackbird spy plane from
the 1960's and still the fastest airplane. In his book, "Sled Driver",
SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain
radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were
screaming across Southern
California 13 miles
high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft
as we entered Los
Angeles airspace.
Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across
their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed."90
knots" Center replied. Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same. "120
knot s," Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud of our ground
speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah,
Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout." There was a slight pause,
then the response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty." Another silent pause.
As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a
familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It was
at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for
we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed
readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause....
"Aspen , I show
1,742 knots" (That's about 2004.658 mph for those who don't know) No
further inquiries were heard on that
frequency.
-----------------------------------------
In
another famous SR-71 story, Los
Angeles
Center
reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 600
(60,000ft). The
incredulous controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you
plan to get up to 60,000 feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver),
responded, "We don't plan to go up to it; we plan to go down to it." He
was cleared.
----------------------
The
pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it
on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know
what I use this for?" The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
The pilot rsponded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!" The
navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table. The
pilot asked, "What's that for?" "To be honest sir," the navigator replied,
"I'll know we're lost before you will."
-----------------------------------------
When Hillary Clinton
visited Iraq
last month the Army Blackhawk helicopter used to transport the Senator was
given the call sign "broomstick one". And they say the Army has no sense
of humor!
-----------------------------------------
Tower:
"Delta 351, you have traffic at 10
o'clock,
6 miles!" Delta 351:"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
-----------------------------------------
One
day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the
runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around,
and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80
crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it
all by yourself?" Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult
go by, came back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like
that and I'll have enough parts for another one."
-----------------------------------------
There's a story about the
military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine
jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the
fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut
down. "Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine
approach."
-----------------------------------------
A student
became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate
the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
-----------------------------------------
Taxiing
down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to
the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned
passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot
was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight
attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
-----------------------------------------
"Flight 2341, for noise
abatement turn right 45 degrees." "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How
much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747
makes when it hits a 727?
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