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Date: Wed, 18 May 2005 00:14:22 -0500
From: Jim Sower <canarder@frontiernet.net>
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To: Rotary motors in aircraft <flyrotary@lancaironline.net>
Subject: Re: [FlyRotary] Re: Paul/Carol - mail list membership
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John,
That's a valid thought, but I think she'd be more appreciative of facts 
than speculation and rumor around what actually happened.  She's got a 
lot on her plate right now.  I think it's quite appropriate to forward 
the sympathy messages to Paul's email and spare her the chatter. 

My experience has been that the finer points of what came down are not 
of great import to the widows.  The messages of condolence OTOH will be 
a comfort and a solace.  I have not deleted any of these, and I could 
forward them all to Carol (Paul's email address) if there's a consensus 
of the list that the authors want this. 

Bottom line: details around failure modes and causes and discussions 
around what did or could have or should have are more important to men.  
Carol has lost her husband and precise knowledge of exactly how that 
happened make him no less gone - and are probably not useful to her.  We 
need to know for a variety of reasons of our own, but Carol most likely 
does not. 

His being admired, respected and missed is what benefits her most ... Jim S.


John Slade wrote:

>>I have removed Paul's subscription to FlyRotary.
>>    
>>
>Marv & others. Speaking of the tragedy my wife commented that, in Carol's
>place, she would NOT wish to be "excommunicated" from all of Paul's friends
>and other rotary enthusiasts. Certainly not unilaterally, without being
>consulted. In fact she'd want to be closely involved in any discussion
>and/or fact finding that might occur.
>
>Carol may wish to post, ask questions or otherwise seek companionship in the
>coming weeks. Of course she could resubscribe under her own name, but being
>simply cut off might be a shock to her, and might be taken the wrong way.
>Has anyone spoken to her on this?
>John
>
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