Thanks everyone for the help.  What I've learned:

1. Sanding the phenolic is the way to go.  I've started already and I have a
full back deflection and I need just a bit more sanding so that I have
enough foreword deflection to contact the spar.  It sounds like everyone had
this problem.  I didn't sand a whole lot off of this phenolic, either, so I
don't feel so bad now.

2. When I bought the kit, I certainly didn't inventory all of the standard
a/c hardware, but I guess I had some expectation that Lancair actually
shipped what you needed with the kit.  I shouldn't have this expectation.  I
wasn't asking because I didn't want to buy hardware, but because I wanted to
make sure I was doing something that made sense.  When there weren't enough
of a certain part, it was an indication that I screwed up.  So the moral of
the story is, just use the standard a/c practices and don't worry too much
about which specific threaded fastener the manual calls for.

Thanks again everyone!

-Rob